Friday, August 26, 2011

a dream.....

do you dream of living......really living?

do you dream of that time when the smell of rain was possibility, happiness, loneliness all wrapped in one?

do you dream of a feeling of listless carefree joy?

do you dream of crisp cool sheets and the steam and roasted smell from fresh brewed coffee on a cool morning?

do you dream of the burn on your cheeks from a blazing outdoor orange whipping flame?

do you dream of world away that you can capture in a word?

do you dream of the words taking you to worlds you have never seen, imagining them in your own color?

I dream.......

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The creative sleepless nights................

Why is it that I only seem to be inspired at midnight lately????  It seems all the good blog ideas and poetry comes to me as I am resting in my bed trying to doze into a peaceful, restfull, needed sleep? 

I so want to get out of bed and jot all the ideas down, however, i know that if I get up, I will never sleep and I am a creature who needs her sleep.  The damned mind just won't be quiet.

This is really rattling me because I have never........and I mean NEVER had a problem going to sleep at night.  I thought for awhile it was because I had kinda slacked off about working out, but that's not it.  Last two days I have killed it at the gym and acutally been "sleepy" all day.  Lay down in the damn bed AND........cannot sleep ARGHHHH!!!!!

I am not drinking any caffeine except for when I first wake up so I have no friggin idea why??????

Oh, and then when I do doze off slightly, something wakes me up (thoughts, a noise, etc.) and then I am back to square one.  This is soooo frustrating.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Lazy Sunday Morning...............or so I thought!

Okay so I am sitting at the table feeling a peace and joy only a Sunday morning with hot breakfast, coffee and family can bring, when she starts.

"I don't like so and so's hair"......."this is really salty".............."why didn't you go to church this morning".................and on and on and on ad nosium.  SHOOT. ME. NOW.

I am looking for a way to escape without being mean but I just don't see one.  I sit and listen and wonder how long the rant will last?  I mean, really? How long can one person complain about EVERYTHING?

Well, an hour later, and I am just exhausted, my mood is now flat and meloncholy and I just want to get away!  I wish I was one of those people who could just say what I was thinking.  No matter how mean or inappropriate it might be, I daydream about how good it would feel to get it off my chest.  I just want to shout....."OH MY GOD, HOW CAN YOU FIND SOMETHING ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DON'T LIKE.  IS THERE ONE POSITIVE THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT SOMETHING?"

I want to say.............."this is why it is a chore to sit with you and have a conversation, because you have nothing nice, valuable or redeeming to say.  You complain about starving for conversation, yet I don't quite think you know how to have one."

Instead I slink away quietly to the bathroom, of course, under the guise of having to use the toilet.  I stay in there for the longest time I can.......hoping that when I emerge, I will no longer have to be berated by all things wrong or disgusting in this world.

I come out and the coast is clear...............whew.

Now I must devise my clever plan of avoidance for the remainder of what was supposed to be my lazy, relaxing Sunday.   Oh the joys of living with family.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

in the movie mood

Do you have those movies that you just always love to watch?   That you will stop everything for if they happen to come on, even if you have to endure the commercials.  I have a ton, but today I will share 10 with you that have been on my mind.

1.    Steel Magnolias:  I could watch this movie over an over an over.  It is just so good....."you know I luv ya more than my luggage".

2.    Dazed and Confused:  another great classic that is reminiscent of high school days and "cool kids".....I just love this movie and the music........

3.    The Breakfast Club:  again another great classic from the 80's that reminds us of high school in an honest and humorous way... again...LOVE the music.

4.    Splendor in the Grass:  a story of CRAZY young love.... and I love Natalie Wood.

5.    West Side Story:   the singing....the dancing......Natalie Wood.  AWESOME

6.   G. I. Jane:  When your in the need for a kick ass chick flick this will do the trick.  Who doesn't love a woman who is bad ass and can tell a Navy Seal to "suck my dick".    Makes me feel so strong.

7.    Fried Green Tomatoes:  Love to eat them and who can resist a movie about the South and strong southern women and their friendships.  A must see.

8.   Gone with The Wind:  Another great classic about the Romantic South.

9.    Beaches:  A story about a loving friendship that stands the test of time and troubles.  God I love this movie but oh how it moves me to tears each time.

Last but certaintly not least

10.  The Family Man:  Not only does this movie make me long for a good cold snow (especially on these hot summer days) but it makes me feel all warm inside about my own Family Man.  Great movie.

So take some time, play hookie, make yourself some popcorn and an iced coffee and sit in for a great movie marathon. 

Thursday, July 21, 2011

do you remember?

Do you remember

the summer nights when you would lay on the warm concrete

and stare up into the sky

dotted by bright stars?

Do you remember

thinking that the sky was just awesome

and the world full of exciting possiblity?

Do you remember

how small you felt

and anxious to be older, more mature, more significant?

Do you remember

how you wanted to remember those feelings

for the rest of your life?

What do you remember now?

When was the last time you laid on the warm concrete

and stared into the great wide open?

Friday, July 15, 2011

from across the room

she sits uncomfortably in the chair trying to concentrate on the book she is supposed to be reading.  she cannot sit still.  is someone staring at the bulging fat that is poking out of the shirt just above her shorts waistline?  is someone staring and the inflamed pimple that is starting to pop up around her hair line?  is someone staring at the fact that she cannot seem to just sit still?  constantly crossing and recrossing her legs, pulling at her shirt, putting her mousy brown/greyish hair behind her ears and readjusting her book.  she thinks..................i probably should have had some fruit with my breakfast instead of the two peices of toast slathered with butter and cinnamon and sugar................i thought i was gonna give up the energy drink in the morning?  who am i kidding i am not ready.  the kids come home today, i need to clean the house, do the laundry.  what am i going to make for dinner.  I need to go to the gym but it is so boring, looking at the choice pieces of man meat only staves away the boredom for like 2 seconds.  i want to go shopping.  i need to find some decorations, what book do i want to read next, what are we going to do this weekend.  i need to eat healthy and quit cramming down the junk.......etc. etc. etc.

he looks across the room at her intent in her book.  her glasses every so slightly slipping down her gentle nose.  her rosy cheeks glowing and her chestnut brown hair flowing carefree.  she is so beautiful.

little does she know!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Welcome to the Movie Reel

My husband always jokes that he cannot even imagine being in my head for a minute.  Not because I am crazy or anything, it's just that I think ALL THE TIME.  It's exhausting sometimes.  I thought, self, what better way to get some of it out then to put it into cyberspace?  People can read if they so choose or keep clicking to something else.  Their choice, however, I can be comical, crazy and down right raunchy sometimes, so stay a while and you may read something that changes your life.....................or just entertains you, either way!